Archive for December, 2009

Top 10 Films of 2009

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 29, 2009 by Will Link

People say this year was no 2007 when it came to film. Some say on a whole it was no 2008 for that matter. That said, I hate when people say there were no good films. I for one struggled with what to leave off this list. Every year has a collection of great films and these were my personal favorites of 2009. Please debate and let me know your top 10 as well.

(On a side note I will be posting a top 25 of the decade list on January 10th. The list has been made but I promised my film geek friends I would wait until we had our little decade best party/list reading. I swear it’s more fun than it sounds)

1.       Inglorious Basterds

Anyone that knows me or has even just talked to me since August 21st when this film came out should not be surprised. This is Tarantino’s most suspenseful, smart, and best film yet. From the tense opening sequence in which both men are hiding secrets to the insane alternate ending given to World War II – every moment of this film has you on the edge of your seat, flinching at the violence, or laughing with absurd joy. Christoph Waltz gives by far the best performance of the year and Melanie Laurent is a revelation as the emotional center of this masterpiece. Everyone working on this film was at their best and it shows.  Don’t be shocked to see it on my decade list as well.

2.       Up

Any film that has you weeping in the first ten minutes is doing something right. The film could have ended after that early montage of Carl Fredricksen’s life and it would still be on this list. In a year of great animation, Pixar once again delivers the best. (Is there anything they can’t do?) By far the year’s most emotional film, it works on all levels. For children it’s a bright, beautiful adventure filled with funny talking dogs and flying houses. For adults is a deeply moving portrait of coping with the loss of a loved one and learning you’re never too old to being a new chapter in life.

3.       The Hurt Locker

For years I’ve been a fan of Kathryn Bigelow. She has delivered in the past with Near Dark (maybe the best vampire film of all time) and Strange Days (maybe the most underrated film I can think of) but this is her best yet. Early on she pulls no punches by letting you know in this film no one is safe. Every scene of every bomb diffusion is a nail biter, but these scenes are not just action – they allow us to get into the head of Jeremy Renner’s character and understand why for him this job (and war) is a drug. She puts us right in the desert and during the brilliant sniper sequence we can almost feel the sweat drip down the characters faces. By not letting politics play a part in this Iraq War story Bigelow simply presents a job being done that we’ve never seen before on film.  

4.       (500) Days of Summer

I related to this film more than any other this year. This is one of the most honest depictions of a relationship I’ve seen in years. No film has captured the agony and impossibility of getting over being dumped better and Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays each moment of pain to a tee. But it’s not just the fact the film focuses on getting over someone that makes it work – it’s also the moments in the relationship that make the viewers fall for Summer and mourn the end of this romance. For example, the musical number that takes place after two sleep together for the first time captures a feeling we have all had when we found the person we love.

 5.       Up in the Air

Easily the timeliest film on this list. George Clooney adds extra layers of sadness to his usually charming persona as a man who lives a most solitary lifestyle flying around the country firing people. Two women who enter his life might change the way he thinks about his own lifestyle. They are terrifically played by Vera Farmiga as a woman with a similar lifestyle view and Anna Kendrick as the young type-A personality the company has hired that Clooney must show the ropes. The scene when all three characters come together and two generations of women discuss their goals and lives is one of the best written and acted of the year. Many people I know are divided on the ending. Some see it as hopeful and inspiring and others (like me) see it as sad and bittersweet. That’s one of the reasons I love this film – it will inspire arguments and speculations for years to come.

 6.       District 9

The best sci-fi films are usually an allegory about the times (or in this case the recent past) that we live in. This film is not just an allegory for apartheid but also a brilliant character study of how to become more of a human being, sometimes you have to be stripped of what you think makes you human. That’s the transformation that Wikus (played terrifically by Sharlto Copley in a physically grueling role) goes through. The sequences of his transformation are both fascinating from a filmmaking standpoint and horrifying in their visual gruesomeness. And the aliens are presented in a way that we’ve never seen before. They are not here to annihilate us, they are just stuck, looking for a way to live in a society that wants nothing to do with them. As a bonus, the last act contains some of the most balls out action you will see all year.

7.        Avatar

If you have read my past posts you already know what I think of this film. It is a visual marvel and a technical game changer. The 3D is not gimmicky; it is used to deliver you to a new world of translucent plants and floating mountains, like no film has done before. James Cameron also knows how to shoot action. We can clearly follow the battles and unlike other action films, we also understand what’s at stake.  The motion capture is the best ever done. There are real performances behind all the Na’vi the best being Zoe Saldana’s Neytiri. The bond she forms with Jake (Sam Worthington) is what holds the film together – causing us to not only care about them but the world of Pandora.  

 8.       Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire

What drives this film more than anything are the performances. Gabourey Sidibe as Precious gives my favorite female performance of the year. This film is about learning to be who you are, about becoming comfortable in your own skin – and she plays every step of that journey with the right amount of fear, anger, hopelessness and defiance. Mo’Nique too deserves an Oscar for her ferocious and terrifying role as Precious’ physically and mentally abusive mother. Her final scene in the film angers you as it breaks your heart. But this film isn’t as hard a watch as people think. Director Lee Daniel’s breaks up the horror with both comedy (Precious’ classmates) and fantasy (as Precious pictures herself often as a model or actress on the red carpet). Ultimately this is the most uplifting and inspirational film of the year.

 9.       Watchmen

In a year where many of my favorite books were adapted (poorly) to the big screen, this was the one that worked best. Zack Snyder has honed a unique visual style with this and 300. Never before have comic book films captured the look of a comic so well. Sure, things are changed and some can argue points of the graphic novel are missed, but I never believed anyone could cleanly  get in everything he managed to. The opening credit sequence perfectly conveys the history of a 20th century where super heroes were part of the American landscape. The sequence involving how Dr. Manhattan became the omnipotent being he is is breathtaking.  And Jackie Earle Haley perfectly captures Rorschach. The voice he gives him is the same we all knew he had when we first read the novel.

10.       A Single Man

Early in this film, which takes place on the day the main character George plans on killing himself because of his inability to deal with the death of his longtime companion Jim,  Colin Firth (as George in a flashback) receives the phone call informing him of his lovers death. His reaction is so heartbreaking, moving, and real that I was hooked immediately. I wanted to follow this man and understand his pain. Tom Ford in his directorial debut uses some amazing photography to help us get into that head space. Most of the film is shot in a sad, drab, tone but when George’s interests are sparked, when he notices those little things that make life worth living, the images burst to life in a shock of color. It’s those moments and Firth giving the best performance of his career, which lets us continue this day’s journey in George’s shoes.

Goodbye ’09 (and hopefully misery too)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on December 24, 2009 by Will Link

By all accounts 2009 was the worst year of many people I knows lives. Sure no one died or got AIDS or something but things were bad. Car accidents, employment issues, relationships ending, the list goes on and on. For me it was the first year my professional and personal lives both went in reverse instead of drive or even staying in park. My friend Ale in the Valley has even gone as far to go to a store in North Hollywood called Jinx No More, to buy a 2010 good luck candle. If it somehow works for her, I may break all my rules of logic and pick one up too.

What sucks most of all is how quickly this crappy year flew by. It went so fast there was no time for course correction. It feels like only a day ago I was sitting with friends discussing how there was no way ’09 could be worse that ’08. Literally a few days ago I spouted off about how we have to have the reverse attitude – let’s assume 2010 will be worse than this year, that way things can only get better.

As my roommate and writing partner Jarrod has said “next year there are no expectations.” He’s right. We have nothing to lose because we have nothing going on. So what do I plan to do next year? I never believe in making resolutions, that said I do need some self-improvement. Let’s look at some key issues in my life and you can play along at home with your own life.

Health: I need to eat a little better. Now I don’t mean going on some new age sprout diet or becoming a vegan or some shit. (We fought to get to the top of the food chain and that’s where I’m staying!) I just need a little moderation or will power. Why do I need to eat two cheeseburgers when one will suffice? Do I really need chili cheese on those fries? Also unless I’m super drunk – no late night eating. Pie at 8 is fine, but at 3am?  So please, if you see me reaching for that second ice cream doughnut sandwich, just knock it out of my hands. I may be mad at first but I’ll thank you later. Probably.

Women: I meet a lot of people and go on a decent amount of dates, but let’s face it, nothing is working out. I’m great at a party but in this new year I have to meet people out of my comfort zone. Why aren’t I flirting with that cute girl behind the counter at Borders more? Well it’s cause I’m a pussy and women can smell fear. So maybe this year I’ll actually try turning a brief conversation about the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album into a passionate love affair. How I will do this? Fuck if I know, but the more I try the easier it will get.

Writing: Last year I wrote a quirky indie script that I’m quite proud of. It was a change from the scripts I’ve been doing for the past few years – those being hybrids of what I love with what my manager assumes the film industry loves. I need to continue with this indie route. I need to satisfy myself and get involved with more things (blog) and new people who will not only help me make this film but nurture new ideas. Does this mean going to writers groups or getting involved with other people’s projects more? I need to be fulfilled creatively and just writing one personal script doesn’t cut it. What to do now?

Work: I work freelance and I like it that way. A few shifts a week allow me enough (not a ton) money to live happily and write or do whatever else socially I want. But this can’t go on forever. I need something else too. Not just for money per say, but something that will leave me fulfilled in a greater way. This can actually tie into the writing issues too and even the women issues. Now I’m not looking for a fallback incase I don’t become a working writer, to me fallbacks are for people who don’t plan on doing what they want anyway. I’m looking for a hobby maybe (blog) or a job that makes me happy about what I’m doing. I used to work for a film festival. I watched submissions, talked to filmmakers, helped organize screenings – it was a blast. Now I know that doesn’t pay in this economy (by the way the economy has topped 9/11 as the biggest excuse for corporations to let the little guy down) but it’s not money I crave…well I do crave and need it but you know what I mean.

The point is all I need to do for the new year is get healthier, find a way to produce my indie script, find some sort of fulfilling job, and get involved in a deep meaningful relationship. Wow…it sounds all so easy. Can’t wait for the new year to start!

Home Again, Home Again

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on December 22, 2009 by Will Link

Every time I come home to Long Island I realize more and more that Los Angeles is my actual home now. This fills me with mixed emotions. I will always consider myself a New Yorker. I love Long Island, I’m a die-hard Yankees fan, and I have an accent that I never realized was so thick until I moved to the west coast.

Can you truly go home again? Going to the movies with my dad sure felt like home again. Dinner made by my mom sure felt like home too. Spending the last few nights hanging with old friends and not skipping a beat in the conversation, most certainly felt like home. But as much as these moments bring back that old-time feeling, they are fleeting. Not the love I have of my friends and family, that will never change, but the feeling that this will never be the same home I once had. Is Long Island nostalgia for me now?

First of all the landscape has changed. Things are the same but different, be it the refurbished mall, the store fronts of my hometown, or the fact that Smithtown apparently now has a huge heroin problem. (Really? Really.) The people are the same but different too. Many are gone from the old days. The ones that remain (or the ones I keep in touch with – the lifers forced to deal with my neuroses until the day we die) are now home owners, parents, or waaay out in the boondocks building movie theaters in their garages. This is where the confusion really sets in – I am simultaneously envious and terrified of their lives. Whenever I’m home I wonder, should I have a wife to love me by now? Should I have a beautiful child by now? (For the record I don’t wonder should I be building a movie theater in a garage but felt it was noteworthy to mention) Then I think of my life in LA. Pursuing my dreams and answering to no one but myself. I want the things LI gives but I crave the life LA offers. Is this why coming home feels weird sometimes, because it causes the two aspects of my desires to duke it out in my brain? And why then can’t I just strive for both?

Despite all these feelings I’m already planning another trip home. Between family and friends (who are family too) this trip is not letting me spend the time I want with all of them. I know it makes me sound like a cliché pussy Mary sissy baby but that really is what home is – being with the ones you love. Be it Ale in LA or Larissa on LI, that’s the way you can be at home.

But let’s face it; in the greater scheme of things my original home has changed. It will never be the same. The real reason LA is my home now is because for the first time it’s a life I’ve made on my own. 3000 miles away from family, for the past 4 ½ years creating new hang outs, new routines. So as I sit in my old bedroom here on Long Island, staring at an X-Files poster I bought in high school, the painful reality is – no matter how much love you have for the place and the people, you can’t go home again.

Blog Note:

Posted in Uncategorized on December 18, 2009 by Will Link

I’ve had this blog for 10 days and have posted 7 blogs. That seems like a pretty good ratio that I hope to keep up. Also I seem to have had a consistent amount of views each day…not a ton and it’s probably the same guy over and over again, but thanks. I’m having fun with it and I’ve been loving the comments.

Point is although I’ve just started, over the next week with the Christmas and the traveling, I might not be posting as often. I’m sure I’ll be posting once or twice while I’m gone (especially if I’m caught in a blizzard) but not at this sarcastically amazing pace.  So check back in the next week but if you don’t see too much happening please don’t worry like I know you tend to do. Right before year’s end I’ll be back on my 7 to 10 ratio with blogs about the top 10 movies of the year and other assorted shit.

With that I use this blog to promote some of my friend’s blogs, my blog buddies or bluggies.

In the meantime check out some great art work at my friend Jim’s blog:

http://www.jim-damato.blogspot.com

and a blog that my buddy Fox wrote for a friend’s film:

http://www.onetoomanymornings.com/uncategorized/top-of-the-morning-to-ya/

Avatar: A Review

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 18, 2009 by Will Link

 “We are surrounded by worn-out images, and we deserve new ones.” – Werner Herzog

Although I believe Herzog was referring to our own planet and the images he himself has tried to capture in breathtaking work like Encounters at the End of the World, I couldn’t help but think of this quote while watching Avatar. There are many things I enjoyed about the film, but this is where it goes from being a good film to a great one – the images. Visually it is awe inspiring. Halfway through the film, even while looking at floating mountains, you forget that this is all CG. It is by far the finest and most vivid CG environment ever created and even more importantly the finest and most realistic motion captured characters ever made.

Story is always important, but movies are a visual medium so to take me to a new world and show me something I have never seen before is a good way to win me over. 2001 is a big example I can think of, of a great film that the visuals are far more important than the story. Many of Herzog’s films fall into the same category. That was the joy of Avatar, to sit back and allow the mountains, plants, and the many many creatures to take over. I was mesmerized by moments in which Jake had to ride creatures through the skies of Pandora.  To see it in 3D adds to the spectacle. This is not gimmicky 3D, this is 3D that tries (and often succeeds) in immersing you into the story. James Cameron knows not to flood the screen with any gimmicks, which is why although the story is meant to be seen in 3D, I believe a 2D screening would have me appreciating the visuals too. As my friend Melody said last night “People won’t appreciate what went into the visuals because Cameron makes it look so effortless.”

Now the story, as I assumed, was not breaking any new ground. I’m not going to get into plot details but its very Dances with Wolves. However, it works because I believed the characters. The two scenes that did this for me in particular were when crippled Jake is first put into his Avatar body; the joy he feels in being able to walk and run again is infectious. It hooked me and I was willing to follow him on this adventure from that point on.  The other is a sequence later on in which he is learning the ways of the Na’vi. He begins to bond with Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and it’s that bond that makes me care about the Na’vi as a people.

The Na’vi are easily the best motion captured characters ever put to screen. Cameron improved upon the technology used to make Gollum and King Kong, which for my money are the only two motion capture characters I’ve ever truly believed until now. In particular I felt a real performance behind the Neytiri character and I give Zoe Saldana a lot of credit for bringing her to life. Another stand out performance (this one not motion capture) was Stephen Lang as the Colonel hell bent on destroying the Na’vi. Although the character is admittedly not explored with as many dimensions as some would like, Lang is so game for the part that you can’t help be caught up in Jake’s efforts to stop him.

Are there some problems? Sure. Cameron has never been the strongest with dialogue and Sam Worthington (as he did in Terminator Salvation) keeps slipping into his Australian accent. Cameron has also never been accused of being subtle and this is obviously a parable of both our treatment of Native Americans and the war in Iraq. These are minor issues for me. So is the fact the film is ultimately vague about the humans goals to obtain the unobtainium. It doesn’t matter what it does because we know what it represents – same thing that oil in Iraq does. Ultimately as Melody also said “It’s the MacGuffin and if that’s what you were interested in then this movie wasn’t for you.”  I also feel all great sci-fi alien races are routed in earthly cultures, so the Na’vi being very identifiable as Native Americans help me to relate to their plight without a ton of exposition.  Speaking of exposition, the pace, thought at first felt rushed, works for the film. We get to where we want to be; visually soaking in Pandora and seeing Jake go from solider to savior. This is capped off in an amazing battle with some of the best visual effects you’ll ever see. The battle works because at this point we care for the plight of these people (and understand it too…keep that in mind Michael Bay) but also because Cameron knows how to film action. We can clearly follow and see what is going on in each frame.

Obviously I really enjoyed the film. It achieved what I wanted it to achieve and what I believe it set out to achieve. I do plan on seeing it again, possibly in 2D. I’m wondering if seeing it that way will make me appreciate and understand what he did with the 3D imagery even more. (By the way I still HATE those glasses…there has to be a better way). Just for a future note, I always use a four star system and I’d give this *** ½ stars.

Technology: It Makes Women Dicks

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on December 15, 2009 by Will Link

The telephone is easily one of the most important inventions in human history. It allows us to speak to people anywhere in the world, to truly communicate. You can hear the cadence of someone’s voice, real emotion as they speak to you. It’s a wonderful feeling to hear the voice of a loved one 3,000 miles away, connect with them. To stay on the phone all night long with a girl you like while lying in bed are some of my favorite memories in early parts of relationships. Well, guess what…those moments are all dead and gone.

This will be the first of many blogs about how technology has not only killed genuine human interaction but also about how technology is one reason I’m not having enough sex. Now I understand the irony of presenting anti-technology thoughts in a blog used to communicate with people, but I think there is a big difference in communicating through an article like this and trying to connect to just one person.

When I meet a girl at a party or gathering and we strike up a good conversation, I usually say, let me get your number. As they write it down, or I enter it in my phone, they usually either A. supply me with their email as well or 2. Tell me I should find them on Facebook. When I explain that I’m not on Facebook the reaction I get is the same as if I said I just murdered her Grandmother. So I give them a call and 9 times out of 10 no one picks up or ever call back (Side note: I’ll call you whenever is most convenient and most likely that’s soon thereafter.  I’m not going to play Swingers type games and wait 6 months or whatever. If I liked you and I’m going out for drinks the next night I’m going to call you, be damned how it looks.) At first I thought that in the age of the cell phones girls are not able to give fake numbers as easily, so they avoid my call since they have no intentions of going out with me. But then why would you give me an email too? Why add a second form of communication if you secretly didn’t want to give the first one?

Recently I went out on a few dates with this really cool woman I met at a party. I really enjoyed talking to her and as she was leaving the party I stopped to ask for her number. She delightfully wrote it down along with her email. After the weekend I called her to see if she wanted to grab drinks or dinner. Five days later, no response. This struck me as odd because she did seem very open to the idea of going out. (This had happened a lot lately, including a girl at an improv show who asked me for my number and yet didn’t call me back.) So I decided I would place one more call and she would either call be back or I’d be done with it forever. As I picked up the piece of paper a thought hit me – email her instead, it will seem less desperate than a second call. I typed up a quick email and ta-da, less than 30 minutes later we had a date set for that Friday. Not only did she respond so quickly but she added exclamation points (the only real way to show excitement in an email) and said she was “so glad” I emailed because she’s “terrible at the phone.” We went on a date and had a good time, good enough to warrant a second date, but in the back of my head I kept wondering “Clearly she was opened to the idea of a date, why wouldn’t she call me back? Would she have ever called me back?”  The short answer is no.

A few years ago, maybe less, if I told a group of women I was going to email or text a girl instead of call her, they would have thought I was a big pussy. The thing is they would have been right. It’s a cold cowardly way to connect with someone because there is no real interaction. I’m too nervous about calling the girl so instead I’ll text her just to see what up. There is no real emotion to a text and if you are trying to make plans the back and forth takes so long you might as well just pick up the phone.  Now I know not everyone is good with the phone, but at least you can make a real connection on it. I’ll know if you’re excited about our date on the phone but more importantly I’ll get to know you a little more. We can have a conversation and make some real thoughts on each other. True that is still done best in person, but it’s a nice step and good feeling after you have a call with a possible date.

Today women seem to hate the phone. Most women I talk to say they would rather get an email than a call from a potential date. Why is this? The only thing I can think of is that it’s easier to not look at someone as a human being in an email. No one wants to hurt someone’s feelings but if you type to me “I don’t think this is going to work out” rather than tell me on the phone (or, here’s an idea, in person) it’s almost as if no feelings were involved. Last summer I had four dates with a super cute girl. In between these we had some really long phone calls too. We had a fifth planed and then she disappeared on me. I called twice and got no call back, so I emailed a “what’s up?” even though I essentially knew what was up. Finally she emailed me back that it “wasn’t going to work out.” That’s fine but you didn’t have the guts to just say it on the phone?  By typing it to me you took away all the emotions you would have to deal with, I was no longer a human being, I was a computer screen. This is the same shit men have been accused of for years, being cold and aloof. Is it only now that technology has caught up to the point that women can remove themselves emotionally and thus act like dicks? Come on, I expect more from women then to act like men.

If a man did the same thing I would call him a pussy and rightfully so. I know men do do this all the time, but I can only speak about the examples in my life.  Sure, no one wants to hurt someone, but guess what it’s going to happen anyway. Technology makes life easier but at what point is it too easy? We can’t really avoid bad emotions so let’s just embrace them. When we use technology to avoid human contact, what are we becoming? So do me a favor and just pick up the fucking phone.

Put Your Sorrys in a Sack

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 14, 2009 by Will Link

 Oh my God! Can you believe that a world class billionaire athlete was caught cheating on his wife!?!

What’s unfortunate is that so many celebrities cheat on their wives. I guess it’s true, you’re only as faithful as your options and if you’re rich you have a lot of options. It’s still wrong and Tiger Woods is a scumbag of a husband. That doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy in other areas – he’s just clearly a guy who shouldn’t have gotten married and is a dick husband. Take a page from the book of Warren Beatty and don’t get married until you’ve slept with every woman in town (including Madonna, because she seems to be the one that gets it out of your system. See also A-Rod) then settle down with a younger actress.  What’s impressive is the amount of women coming out that he’s slept with and that all of them are calling him a “gentleman” and “great in bed.” You would think at least one of these women would say he’s got a small dick or something.

Yes, I’ve gotten around to writing a Tiger blog. I had to. The media coverage has been out of control. At my job it’s all we’ve broadcast about for weeks. Other Access Hollywood type shows have anchors complaining about the amount of coverage before they bring out “whore number 23” to talk about some sexting she did with Tiger. But this blog isn’t about how this is a manufactured media event. It’s also not about these women who are now coming out of the wood works to sell their sex stories. I hate calling women whores or sluts because I have always felt it’s an unfair double standard that a woman can’t be sexual promiscuous like a man (personally I prefer it), but these women knew Tiger was married so to sleep with him is whorish behavior.  No, this blog is about the two words I detest hearing coming out of a celebrity’s mouth. Two words that in the age of scandal and sex tape have lost all their meaning. I’m sorry.

I’m done with hearing a celeb say they are sorry. Two reasons: 1. It’s probably insincere and 2. It’s none of my business. I don’t give a shit how many women Tiger sleeps with; it’s none of my business or your business. The only person he owes an apology to is his wife. That’s it. There was never a vow of fidelity made to fans or even corporate sponsors. I’ve always believed in the Charles Barkley attitude of “I am not a role model.” I don’t believe that anyone just because they are in the public eye has to be a role model. Now Tiger did do a lot of ads that portrays him as a stand up guy, but this is because of his golfing. If he were caught cheating as a golfer then he owes me an apology because he has presented himself to me as a golfer. In the Gillette ads he says nothing about not fucking women other than his wife! (It does however say “the best and man can get”) And this week he broke his silence and apologized:

  “I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness.”

You fucked up Tiger and you do owe your wife and children a lot of explaining, but everyone? Does he really believe that or is it a case of the PR machine. Kind of takes away the sincerity of it…I mean all of us getting the same apology as his wife. You want to apologize to me, just go hit some fucking golf balls so we can forget about this.

Maybe I’m going a little bit overboard, I mean what’s he supposed to do? Press hounding him. Mid-western housewives once turned on by his multi-ethnic looks heartbroken that he’s a jackass. However, for me this is the last straw. Let’s look at some other apologies. In 2007 nude photos of High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens leaked online. Of course her people issued this statement:

“Vanessa has apologized for what was obviously a lapse in judgment. We hope she’s learned a valuable lesson.”

What for? For being a sexual being? For being young and attractive? Is this just an example of our overly puritanical society going nuts over nudity? The person who should be apologizing is the asshole who leaked the photos not you! You did nothing wrong. This happens a lot with young actresses. Clearly some use this as career moves like Paris Hilton…but for every Hilton there are people like say Ashley Green who shit just leaks out and they are embarrassed. If anything I owe them the apology for desperately searching the internet to see these photos. For once I would love one of these girls to just say “I’m not sorry I masturbated on tape. That was for me and my boyfriend and fucking isn’t a crime.” Equally I wish Tiger Woods had said “I apologized to my wife and you can go scratch for asking.”

I’m not even going to get into my two least favorite sorrys of all time: Don Imus who told an awful joke, apologized for it and still lost his job; and Janet Jackson who was treated as if she was responsible for the holocaust because she flashed a nipple. There are still court cases going on about that one.

The word sorry has lost all meaning in popular culture. The more they utter it the less I want to. We’ve lost sorry, the meaning is dead. I’m not going to say it anymore…let it be for the celebs.  I’m going to come up with a new word. According to dictionary.com some synonyms are:

bad, disconsolate, distressed, grieved, heavyhearted, melancholy, mournful, pitiful, rueful, saddened, sorrowful, unhappy

I like rueful. That’s my word. Whenever I do something wrong (which is hardly ever) I will say “I’m so rueful” or if someone’s father dies I can say “I’m rueful for your loss.”

Recently there was a controversy involving Adam Lambert. He had this awful performance on the AMA’s. (It wasn’t awful because of the sexual nature of it; it was awful because of the lack of talent involved) It was uber sexual /homo erotic and he was basically told to apologize for it. He didn’t and to my knowledge still hasn’t. Good for him.  He did what was rehearsed ahead of time and at a late enough hour that it shouldn’t have been an issue. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Mr. Lambert…we need more celebrities like you.